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Louis | bumping up against it |


memorial day part deux.

i started drinking again last memorial day. i stopped yesterday (this memorial day).

i dont know if i’ll stay stopped. i’ve stopped before.
the big book sits here with the little circles. evidence of coasterism.
all my directories were used for coasters too.
its this god thing. i got thru bill’s story there and i can relate to the spirit of the universe, the mechanism that is as profound as the precision of the game of baseball.
as far as i know, a human invented baseball.
i cannot relate to an all knowing conscious god that can permit the horrors of this world to accumulate.
i cannot drink and take my cholesterol medication. so i quit my lipitor last memorial day. my doctor ordered a blood test and my triglycerides were above 1300.
my liver function test was 41.
he told me to get back on the lipitor.
we just did another test and my triglycerides are 250, but liver function (alt)? was at 129. off the charts. i can

  1. quit lipitor and have an imminent heart attack (soon)
  2. i can die of liver disease (i dont think i can spell cirrhosis)
  3. i can quit drinking again and persuade myself that the same god that put me in this jam can save me.
  4. i can try to rediscover the clockwork of the universe and worship the mechanics of my temple.

so it looks like its 3 or 4.

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