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Punched® Monkey’s One phone call…

Hi, yeah, it’s Monkey. They said I could have one phone call from jail, so this is it.

I’m Punched, you might say, by the many foul inequities of daily life on this ball of man-muddled excrement we’ve turned our beautiful planet into, hurtling through space towards the inevitablilty of it’s own destruction.

My favourite colour is black, my favourite number is 69, my favourite word is ‘cunt’. My favourite person is Polythene Pam, cause she’s all kinds of sexywickedcool. My favourite position is crucified, cause we should all be! I drink too much, I think too much, I worry too much, I swear far too fucking much, I love and hate far too much. . . I enjoy smoking ridiculously fat cigars and swearing a lot in a irreverant manner, especially in front of senior citizens who should have more sense than to hang around here chewing on the rest of the tribe’s provisions when there isn’t enough to fucking go around, okay? I enjoy the ending of sentences with ‘. . .’ instead of a full-stop (that’s what limey English fucks like me call ‘periods’. It confuses silly ignorant people. ‘What, what is he saying? Is he finished his point, is there more to say, what???’ I believe in the cock and the pussy and that oral sex is a two-way street! I think democracy is a nifty theory – but that’s all it is! I also enjoy soft deep wet tongue kissing that lasts several days and girls who don’t mind that I cry a lot when confronted with beauty or the genuine pain, simulated or real, of others. Oh, and I like to drive really, really, really fast in a straight line, which is what landed me in trouble with the fuzz. Anything else? join me in the Treehouse, penthouse or jailhouse – under the duvet, and ask. . . I’ll be under there, smiling and waving, Naked. Wearing only a cockring. And that’s not a good idea, considering the 700lb manchild I’m sharing a lockup with. . .

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