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Screw YOU, Donny Osmond!

As a fan of Time Magazine, I was greatly looking forward to the May 12 issue; the TIME 100. This issue showcases one hundred of the world’s most influential people and even has five covers to mark the fifth anniversary of this particular edition. Time asked several top rated graphic designers to create the bonus covers. They all blow, but not as much as Donny Osmond. Not only does Donny Osmond blow, he sux, too.

Accompanied by photographs, each of the 100 people featured in Time has an article about them authored by a person of significance.

For example, Tom Brokaw, former NBC Nightly News anchor, wrote a modest piece about Bob Wright, former CEO of NBC, and his wife Suzanne. When the couple learned that one of their grandchildren had been diagnosed with autism, the two lobbied the United Nations to place autism on the global health agenda. They also successfully pressed Congress to allocate more funds to autism research and raised millions of dollars for the cause at events that spanned the entire United States.

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Also featured were people like J. Craig Venter, a scientist who built the first synthetic genome; Yoani Sanchez, a woman who uses the internet to tell the truths of Castro’s Cuba; Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister and Aung San Suu Kyi, Burma’s imprisoned human rights activist.

Anjelica Huston, who is involved with the U.S. Campaign for Burma, wrote a short, yet poignant piece about this Nobel Peace Prize recipient, who has been under arrest for the past twelve years. Suu Kyi, 62, is an advocate not only for human rights, but for democracy, as well. She became a target of her country’s military after spearheading a nation wide effort to put an end to military rule. Currently, there are up to 2,000 political prisoners that have been incarcerated by Burma’s military. They recruit more child soldiers than any other country in the world and subject their women to brutal rape.

As you can see, Time composed an extraordinary list of individuals who help shape this world. I was quite impressed with the lot until I came to the “Artists and Entertainment” section. Now, I am quite aware that there are a number of celebrities who are and have been a great influence, not only in their genre of work, but in social and political issues as well. That is wonderful. Good for them. Let us give them all a big round of applause…but not Donny Osmond. The only thing Donny Osmond deserves is a swift kick in the dick.

Editor’s Note: This article’s author was teased mercilessly as a young child about her extensive Donny Osmond record collection.


  Polythene Pam wrote @

I told you about my Osmond collection in confidence, you evil fuck!


  me wrote @

I see you are totally jealous!


  Polythene Pam wrote @

To be jealous is to admit that someone is better than you. Ain’t no one better than me.


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